


tacenda.

by orphan_account



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mention of GLaDOS like figure, Platonic Xephos/Honeydew, Portal-Like Scenarios
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 09:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tacenda - ta-KEN-dah (n.)</p>
<p>1. things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence.<br/>2. a strange lab that imprisons and uses humans as test subjects.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>in which honeydew is a new subject at tacenda labs and xephos is his old subject tour guide, and partner. updates are attempted once a week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. just trust me on th - wait, where are you going?

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by games like portal and stanley parable and puzzle maps like 241 and there's no learning curve!

"Hello? Hello, can you hear m - oh, good, you're awake!"

Xephos smiled fondly at the awaking dwarf, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes (he remembered when he first woke up at Tacenda Labs 5 years ago - confused, yet compliant to what the mechanical voice had commanded him) as the other stretched, scratching at his orange beard absentmindedly. Taking a step back to allow him space, Xephos stuck out his hand to the shorter one, suspicion etched on his features.

"I'm Xephos - welcome to Tacenda Labs! Judging from how you're here, you're probably a test subject as well, which is good! We haven't had another test subject in quite a bit, they all disappeared. Or they died, either one." His cheery expression faltered when he saw his horrified expression, the brunette raising his hands in protest as he laughed. "Oh, don't worry too much about it! Now that you're here, they probably won't kill you. Sure, they can come close to it, but it's not too bad. Most of the deaths come from the fall anyways, and you don't look too injured yourself. Your name?"

The sudden question caught him off guard - Xephos could tell (the man practically wore his heart on his sleeve, for christ's sake!) . With a mumble, he shifted before looking up, tipping his viking helmet backwards a bit. 

"I'm Honeydew - where..." There was a pause before he clenched his fists, glaring up at him the best he could. "Where the fuck am I?!"

"Hey, hey, no need to get angry! I told you, we're in Tacenda Labs. Well, more specifically, we're in Test Chamber 1-A. The rooms get more spacious later on, so no ne - ..." His mock speech was interrupted by a surprised squeak, Honeydew roughly pushing Xephos aside and moving on, crossing his arms as he stepped on the pressure plate near the tightly locked doors. 

"Ah, you're a smart one!" Xephos chirped, walking over to step on the one parallel. "Usually, most test subjects are p - ..." When the doors opened, Honeydew walked out of the grey-walled room, staring at the body of water presented to them. A glass wall was in the middle to split it into two, several platforms (some with pressure plates, others without) leaning near the walls. 

"They always change it up, make it interesting - well, for  _me_ of course. I have been here 5 years - and counting! What do you suggest we do here, friend?"

Honeydew turned to Xephos, eyebrows creasing as he slowly walked over, an unreadable look present on the dwarf's face. 

"First of all, we're not friends, so stop calling me your friend and stop acting like I  _am_ an old friend. Second of all, you talking to me about everything and anything is really gettin' on _my_ nerves - I'm just trying to do this as quickly as possible so I can go home, eat some jaffas, and spend time with Mandrew."

Xephos raised his eyebrows. "...Mandrew?"

"My corgi."

He pressed his lips together, eyebrows furrowed. "Um, I'm afraid to tell you this, friend - ..." Honeydew glared at him. "Sorry, sorry. But, uh, even I'm not sure what lies at the end of the testing chambers, and I'm not sure I want to find out."

"...What do you mean?"

"Well, some of the puzzles here are for two subjects, and we haven't had a lot of them recently, so -."

"No, I mean what do you  _mean_ you don't want to find out? Don't you have a family to go to? Friends? Don't you want to get out of this hellhole?"

"W-well..." He gulped nervously, eyes darting around the room before he dropped his voice into a whisper. "Don't say rude things like that! In all honesty, I can't remember what I was doing before I woke up here. It's all a blur." A partial lie - Xephos remembered names and words like  _Lalna_ and  _Yoglabs_ and  _Testificates_ , but there were no memories attached; to him, they were just words without meanings. It wasn't worth dwelling on and besides, everything he could ever need or want rested here in Tacenda - a bed, a roof over his head, three meals a day, constant interaction with humans that maybe aren't actually humans...What else could he wish for?

"Okay. Sure." Honeydew squinted his eyes at him before jogging over to his side of the room, shooing off Xephos as if to tell him to do the same. As he jumped to the bigger platform to the smaller one, another platform opened up in front of him and the dwarf eagerly hopped onto it, pressure plate after pressure plate unlocking platforms in between the gaps. The puzzle didn't take too long, thankfully, and the duo met up in the center, pushing the doors to the next room.

Xephos briefly wondered about the possibility of actually escaping from the laboratory - would they let them leave if they completed all the puzzles? What did the world beyond the never-ending hallways of Tacenda Labs look like? Who wo - 

No. 

_No_ , he told himself as he surveyed the next room.  _You're going to be fine here. You have all you need - a bed. A roof over his head. Three meals a day. Constant interaction with humans that maybe aren't humans..._

What more could he need?


	2. meeting your superiors has never been a good idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MMK so i've decided to make this a series bc i've had a Lot of ideas n stuff....i've roughly planned out 10 chapters for this, but it could change if i decide to combine chapters or split them. i hope you have a good day !

"Oh, good work!" Xephos applauded the other before stepping on his respective pressure plate and smiling as the doors opened with a satisfying shift. "I didn't think we would be able to figure that out, but I think you've got the hang of this thing. U -..."

"What did I say about ranting to me about old test subjects?" It came out as a grumble and Xephos's expression hesitated, wringing his hands nervously before laughing, entering through the doors with the dwarf at his side. 

"Of course, of course! My apologies, f - _Honeydew_." He quickly corrected himself, surveying the new room they've been dropped into, immediately noticing the loudspeaker in the corner of the plain room. There was nothing else his eyes could lay on, after all - the room consisted of two beds, the sheets haphazardly thrown together, as well as the iron doors at the front of the room, like they always were. The familiarity of the room comforted Xephos - but only slightly. The fact that his supposed test partner was resenting him, ending all conversation he attempted to start - well, that was a blow to his self confidence (all his past partners had cooperated with him with only  _slight_ hesitation) . 

The robotic voice that came through the loudspeaker rang him out of his thoughts, turning so he could pay attention to the voice (he didn't notice until much later that his hands were interlocked in front of him, back straight and head held up high - the formation was almost automatic) . 

"Greetings, test subject number X-2105 and..." They could hear a slight whirring, as if the robot was attempting to identify the other person in the room. "...Number H-2314. How are you two doing today?"

"Fucking terrible." The dwarf answered immediately. "I'd assume you'd feel terrible too if you were locked in a ridiculous l -."

"We're doing great!" Xephos chimed in, laughing nervously as he pushed Honeydew aside gently, careful not to hurt the shorter man. "And how are you today...?" He could feel the other looking towards him with suspicion and confusion - _how could he submit to the robot so easily?_ How could he just  _shove_ him aside like that and speak to the voice like  _that_? He narrowed his eyes and Xephos pretended he didn't spot their trust crumbling further (like Honeydew had any trust him in at all - what a  _laugh_ ) . 

"I'm doing... _fine_. Thank you." The word  _fine_ was grated out, the word feeling out of place with the other letters. Before he could reply, the android spoke again. "Your test results are going great so far. Nothing I wouldn't expect from number X-2105. However...Number H-2314's results have been... _lacking_ so far."

"What do you mean my results have been lacking?! I'm the one that's been doing all the work here while  _he's_ just been laying on his ass ranting to me about - !!"

"Now, now, H-2314. Such things are not to get angry about. I'm just saying you need to improve your personality a bit. You're much too varied to get a proper statistic on how little time you can complete a puzzle. Your brain gets flared up at the simplest of things and -..."

"Brain?!  _Brain_?! How can you test my brain? Don't tell me you've put some kind of microchip in my brain before you dropped me down here at Tacky Valleys!"

"Tacenda Laboratory." Xephos corrected quietly, more to himself than at Honeydew. He looked from side to side nervously - this had happened before and the android on the other line hadn't taken it very well, the chance of dying growing until his partner outright  _died_ , whether it was from flames or their own mistake or they slipped off a platform on accident. ' _What a tragedy_.' The robot mused as he stood, eyes growing wide and maybe he didn't know them very well but they were still his partner and they died in front of him. He seemed to blank out and before he knew it, the voice was rushing him to the start of the room, murmuring in monotone whispers on how it was just an  _accident_ and that it **wasn't** his fault --

( but maybe if he stopped his partner in time they wouldn't have been caught by that saw blade and maybe if he hadn't been talking to them and learning more about them, he wouldn't have burst awake in the middle of the night, panting because he remembered  _them_ and how their screams  **echoed** in the empty rooms ) . 

A short laugh woke him of his mourning thoughts, head snapping up as blue eyes shakily readjusted and his back straightened, a smile blooming on his face --

( and he pretended not to notice the worried and confused looks Honeydew was sending him ) .

"Ha. Ha. Very funny, H-2314. It appears something has come up. Please exit the room with caution and don't forget your items." The iron doors shifted and the loudspeaker clicked off, the light in the corner dying down. Honeydew's nose scrunched up in displeasure, opening his mouth to retaliate but decided against it - the loudspeaker was already off anyways, who would hear him?

"Well...That was interesting." Xephos smiled meekly at Honeydew, who was already thinking of ways to solve the next puzzle. There was a moment of hesitation that flew through Xephos - should he even attempt to befriend the other? He already made it clear that he didn't want anything else  _besides_ a partner relationship, but the puzzles would be solved quicker if they cooperated, right?

"Um...Honeydew." He began nervously. The dwarf didn't look at him but grunted as a symbol that he was listening. "...Mandrew. Your corgi - tell me about him."

At the chance to talk about his dog, Honeydew raised his head, chewing on his lip for a moment before nodding, scratching his beard in thought. "Mandrew...He's a small one. He's tan and he has a black nose and every time I'm eating something, he comes up to me and lays his little head on my knee and gives me those eyes and I take a moment to search up if dogs are okay to eat whatever I'm eating..." His features soften at his words, as if just  _thinking_ of the dog brought happy memories. "We got him as a puppy, small little thing. Our family - it's really extended. When we have a family reunion, I hardly know half the people..." Images of his parents and his many siblings surfaced to his mind. "Dwarves - they're like that, y'know? They're family. They have family. Everyone's family to each other - we have this special bond between us that only dwarves get." Xephos nodded. "And - and..." Xephos's expression dropped - was he  _crying_? This gruff dwarf was actually crying and he would've been wailing if it wasn't for the fact that Xephos was there.

"And to think that - that they won't be here when I get out -  _if_ I get out...What's going to happen to Mandrew? He's going to be at home wondering if I'm ever going to come back and if I'm ever going to give him another slice of bacon ever again - and - and..." Xephos hesitated to comfort the man, but his hand hovered above his back and before he knew it, he was patting Honeydew, letting him sob and miss his friends and family. 

"My family said it was  _silly_ for me to wish to go to the moon, but at least it'd be better than getting stuck here and -..." Another sob before Xephos tugged at his wrist, making Honeydew look up as he wiped tears from his eyes. Xephos's words came out as a murmur, careful not to disturb the silence that they had brought up (had Honeydew been keeping this inside him the whole time? Just bottling up his worries and concerns and sadness inside him?) . 

"C'mon, friend. Let's hurry up and solve this puzzle."

And that time, Honeydew didn't scold Xephos for muttering the word  _friend_. 


End file.
